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Relationships are dynamic and change over time. Couples therapy
can help with any relationship stage or concern.
How couples therapy works
Couples therapy focuses on addressing communication problems in relationships. Good communication is a prerequisite for dealing with the challenges you may face in a relationship. Life exposes us to a lot of challenges and situations that we haven’t dealt with before, so it’s only natural that we react differently.
Couples therapy is also useful in times of uncertainty. It can be a tool to help advise you on whether your relationship should continue or not. Together with your therapist, you can gain a better understanding of each other and thus better manage the difficulties that arise.
What set our therapist apart was her genuine empathy and personal insight. Not only did she possess a deep understanding of neurodiversity, but she also shared personal experiences that resonated with us, creating an instant connection and fostering a sense of trust!
Benedetta Osarenk
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Couples therapy is recommended for everyone, even couples who have no immediate problems in their relationship. Therapy often strengthens the bonds of the relationship and can also prevent future challenges. Read more below or contact one of our therapists directly to see how we can help you and your relationship.
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What do you talk about in couples therapy?
It’s easy to think that couples therapy is about digging into problems. It is equally important to understand what works well in the relationship. A common approach used by the therapist is to let both parties talk about how they experience their relationship, both what works well and what could work better.
Another common focus in couples therapy is the personal histories of both partners. This includes previous relationships, but also childhood and events that may have affected you as a person, as they can be important in understanding why a person behaves in a certain way. A greater understanding of this also makes it easier for the therapist to provide the right guidance going forward.
An important element of couples therapy is getting to the point and ensuring that the other party is listening. In couples therapy, people practice expressing their thoughts, feelings and wishes without interruption. It also allows you to be listened to and gives you strategies to accept each other’s behaviour.
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Choose a 45, 60, or 90-minute session, or a package, providing flexibility and control over the duration and intensity.
8 common questions and answers about couples therapy
When should you seek help with couples therapy?
Here are some examples of situations where couple therapy can help you: Difficulty communicating, things have been quiet between you for a long time, the relationship requires a lot of energy, more energy than you get out of it, you have difficulty trusting each other, you are thinking about divorce, you are having difficulty forgiving each other or have an unsatisfactory sex life.
How much does it cost to go to couples therapy?
At Lavendla, it is the therapists and coaches who set the price, which you will find when booking. In couple therapy, the sessions usually last longer as several people need to be heard. How much time is needed for each session and how many sessions you need is decided in consultation with the therapist. It may vary depending on how many family members are involved. The first session usually focuses on getting to know each other, defining the challenges you face, and then making a plan to work together to achieve your goals.
What is the purpose of couples therapy?
Couple therapy aims to help couples improve their communication, resolve conflicts and strengthen their relationship. It can also help increase understanding of each other and create a more satisfying and sustainable relationship.
How long does the process of couples therapy take?
The timeframe varies depending on the complexity of the issues being addressed. A shorter period of therapy may be sufficient for some couples while others may need several months of regular sessions. The therapist will discuss and suggest a suitable schedule based on your needs.
What methods and techniques are used in couple therapy?
Therapists use different methods and techniques based on the couple’s specific needs and goals. Common methods include communication training, managing conflict resolution, emotional processing and exploring childhood patterns. The therapist may also provide homework and exercises to strengthen the relationship between sessions.
How can you prepare for couples therapy?
Preparing for couples therapy involves being open to reflecting on your own thoughts, feelings and behaviours and being willing to listen to and support your partner. It can be useful to think about your goals and expectations for therapy and be prepared to communicate openly with each other and the therapist.
What can you do if your partner is reluctant to engage in couples therapy?
If a partner is reluctant to participate in couples’ therapy, it is important to respect their feelings and not force them into something they are not comfortable with. Instead, you can suggest that you discuss your concerns together and explore the possibility of seeking help later. Being open and non-judgmental can help create an atmosphere of mutual respect.
What if couple therapy doesn’t work for us?
If couple therapy is not producing the desired results, it is important to communicate this with your therapist. They can adjust the approach or suggest alternative strategies. In some cases, it may be that therapy is not the best solution for your specific situation and it may be valuable to explore other options such as individual therapy or other resources.
Relationship problems often encountered in couple therapy
Relationship problems can take different forms. Here are some problems that can be present in relationships:
- Communication difficulties
- Sexual difficulties
- Infidelity
- Lack of trust
- Abuse
- Divorce
- Jealousy
- Financial issues
- Conflict about roles in the home
3 tips on couples therapy from our counselor
- Invest in your relationship.
Being passionately in love is wonderful. At the beginning of a relationship there are almost no obstacles. Life goes on and your sex life works well. Love and sex are good building blocks for a successful relationship. If there is a strong attraction to each other, you should invest in your relationship. If you feel that communication is deteriorating or sex is not working satisfactorily, don’t hesitate to see a counselor. Allowing a professional counselor to help you find the joy and desire to be with each other again could be the best investment you make. - Learn to express yourself through ‘I-messages’.
If you have a tendency to frequently point out your partner’s flaws or shortcomings, your partner will probably become defensive about what you say about him or her. It’s easy to get caught up in this dynamic and it can easily kill the positive feelings you have for each other. An effective way to have a sustainable connection and constructive communication can be to learn how to express concerns using ‘I-messages’. This is based on taking responsibility for your own feelings and thoughts by expressing them to your partner. You do not pay attention to your partner’s behaviour in the first place, but to your own feelings and thoughts. Example of a “you-message” that can lead to defensiveness: “You are so stupid! Your ears are wrong because you can’t hear what I’m saying!” Example of an “I-message”: “Sometimes I don’t feel listened to. I don’t feel understood. I get sad when that happens.” - You don’t necessarily have to separate when someone has been unfaithful.
Many people may think that you automatically have to separate when someone in the relationship has been unfaithful. Infidelity can be an expression of many things. It does not necessarily have to be directly related to the relationship you are in. See a counselor who can help you find the root cause of the infidelity. Be honest in your communication and use the therapist to help you accept each other’s feelings. The wounds of betrayal and infidelity can be healed, even if it takes time. Couples therapy can be a very good investment.
