I have experience moving through my own trauma from childhood abuse & a 20 year recreational drug addiction.
I love working in the realms of relational issues because I know what it’s like to have struggled in this area whether in a relationship or single. I am also a recovering Anxious/ Avoidant attachment style, so i feel i am able to empathise with other peoples attachment issues. I use to suffer from big emotional outbursts and fits of rage, not understanding my own unresolved trauma responses but through the work I have gained a deeper understanding of myself & the people around me and have shifted into a much more grounded version of myself and am now in my first secure relationship, married to my best friend, after spending many years on my own, as an ultra independent woman.
My marriage is not secure because my partner showed up as a secure individual, my marriage is secure because I am not shy of the continuous inner work, self reflection, accountability for my side of the road and the co creation of uncomfortable situations together. I have worked on my own nervous system, my communication skills and speak up on my feelings, meet my own needs and ask for them to be met from my partner. This is how I show up as an emotional safe space.
When i was younger I normalised the abuse I went through and took this into my young adult relationships as many of us do until we learn that certain behaviours do not nourish our own environment and do not invite the types of dynamics we wish to create for ourselves (different to the ones we grew up in).
It is a universal law that we create through our beliefs, This is also proven through extensive scientific research and we also know that to attract what we desire we first have to become it, so if we are looking for a secure dynamic we have to constantly check our own energy and I will always use the 3 main modalities -
EFT - Using a sequence of light tapping on the meridians of our body, connecting with our feeling world using this somatic practice to bring us home to our truest essence. This amazing technique helps us to understand our feeling world and to process through anything heavy & to bring compassion to ourselves and connect to our intuition.
Reparenting - Giving ourselves the love, understanding and validation that we were unable to receive in times of trauma. We give to ourselves in new ways that help to energetically fill our own cup and understand our own needs, totally eradicating some triggers as we let go of trauma stored in the body.
Byron Katies Self Enquiry work- Questioning the untrue beliefs we gave to ourselves in times of trauma, hopefully bringing us to a place of empowerment.
If our caregivers weren't able to regulate their own nervous system and process through their own feelings then we likely got shut down, shamed and even punished for having big feelings as a child. Regulating our emotions was a very valuable process that all children need to be taught, so this can be passed along generationally. If this was not taught to us as infants we must learn to do this work for ourselves as adults, if we want to experience healthy dynamics as an adult.
If our caregivers weren't able to meet our emotions with care and understanding, as infants, then we will internalise their own lack of regulation as something that meant something negative about us and give ourselves negative and untrue beliefs about ourselves. These negative and untrue beliefs need to be questioned and reflected upon to understand them and to see how & when they were originally created and how they are still playing out and creating a reality that we don't want, in the present moment.
I offer these wonderful practices to individuals within our sessions because I know the power of them and know they work!
Unfortunately the positive change doesn't generally happen over night. Therapy is a commitment and can bring up a lot of uncomfortable feelings to navigate, however I am there to support you through these in our sessions together but the nervous system needs a gentle but consistent approach, otherwise we can be likely to overwhelm your system. So this means committing to your own process and putting in the continuous work outside of the Therapy setting too. Obviously your journey is completely up to you but the results you gain will be a direct reflection of the effort you choose to put in on yourself.
Just like if we want to see a PT for weight loss, we have to commit ourselves to a lifestyle change and embrace certain practices that don't necessarily feel comfortable but we put them in place because we know they work.
If this resonates with you please reach out, I am safe, compassionate and non judgemental and absolutely LOVE to help people in this regard! I am very much looking forward to connecting with you.
Let's tap into the most empowered version of you yet and help you to create the dynamics you've always yearned for deep down but never been quite able to manifest despite all your hardest efforts.
