Home » Online Therapy » Couples therapy » 5 love languages

The 5 love languages is a relationship concept based on five categories: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and services. It asserts that each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

What are the 5 love languages?

The 5 love languages is a concept developed by author and counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman. It involves understanding how we give and receive love in different ways. According to Chapman, each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

Understanding and using this love language can increase trust and improve communication in all types of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and family ties.

At the bottom of this page, take a test to find out which love of the 5 love languages you share with your partner. We also answer common questions related to love languages.

What set our therapist apart was her genuine empathy and personal insight. Not only did she possess a deep understanding of neurodiversity, but she also shared personal experiences that resonated with us, creating an instant connection and fostering a sense of trust!

Benedetta Osarenk


Our counsellors

Click here to view all psychologists, therapists, and coaches.

Love languages – The 5 love languages

  1. Physical touch – People with this love language experience love through physical contact such as hugs, kisses and hand holding.
  2. Quality time – This type of person values spending quality time with their loved ones and is satisfied when they receive complete attention.
  3. Affirming words – For some, the language of love is hearing encouraging and affirming words, such as compliments and loving expressions.
  4. Gifts – People with this love language feel loved when they receive gifts that show someone is thinking about them.
  5. Service – Performing acts of service and helping out is the primary love language for some people.

4 common questions about the 5 love languages

How can you test your own love language?

There are several ways to discover your primary love language. One simple way is to reflect on what actions or words make you most happy and loved. Love languages can be a tool for couples therapists to use when working with clients.

Can love languages change over time?

Yes, love languages can change over time. Life experiences and changes in relationships can affect which love language feels most relevant to you. It is important to be aware of these changes and communicate them with your partner.

How can you use love language to improve your relationship?

When you understand both your own and your partner’s love language, you can adapt how you express your love in a way that is meaningful to them. This can lead to greater intimacy and understanding in the relationship.

What are the different love languages and how do they work?

The 5 love languages are: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and services.

Physical touch: People with this love language experience love through physical contact such as hugs, kisses, and hand-holding.
Quality time: This type of person values spending quality time with their loved ones and is satisfied when they receive complete attention.
Affirming words: For some, the love language is hearing encouraging and affirming words, such as compliments and loving expressions.
Gifts: People with this love language feel loved when they receive gifts showing someone is thinking about them.
Service: Performing acts of service and helping out is the primary love language for some people.

The 5 love languages

Understanding you and your partner’s love languages can help greatly strengthen your relationship. By adapting how you express your love in a way that is meaningful to your partner, you can increase trust and improve communication.

Working with love language in your relationship can be a path to greater intimacy and understanding It starts with understanding and communicating love in a way that truly reaches the heart of your partner.

Lavendla – Making the difficult easier

Written by dominic

Dominic is a Cape Town-based copywriter and editor with a background in psychology.