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We have all had moments where emotions take over. With knowledge and insight, we can prevent emotions from controlling us more than they should.

What can we do to manage our emotions?

Emotions can be overwhelming.

Whether it’s anger, worry, guilt or sadness, it’s important to know there are methods and tools for dealing with these emotions.

Here we look at different aspects of emotions, emotion regulation, and useful therapies.

What set our therapist apart was her genuine empathy and personal insight. Not only did she possess a deep understanding of neurodiversity, but she also shared personal experiences that resonated with us, creating an instant connection and fostering a sense of trust!

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Why is emotion regulation important?

Emotion regulation is a key component of our psychological well-being. When emotions take over, it can lead to different types of problems such as aggression or depression, which negatively impacts our relationships and quality of life. Working on emotion regulation can help develop strategies to deal with these in a constructive way.

Methods of emotion regulation

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): An evidence-based therapy that helps individuals understand the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviours. CBT is particularly effective for emotion regulation around anger and anxiety.
  • Mindfulness: A method of being present in the moment, which can help you become more aware of your emotions and how you react to them.
  • Physical activity: Exercise has been shown to be effective in reducing stress and improving mood. Walking and yoga are often recommended as they can be combined with mindfulness.
  • Psychosynthesis therapy: Mapping out of the emotions you contain, discovering why they occur and in which situations they become stronger or weaker. You receive exercises and psychological tools to use the ‘right’ emotions at the ‘right’ time.

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Anger: when and how to seek help

Anger can be one of the most difficult emotions to manage. If you notice that your anger is affecting your relationships or your work, it may be time to seek professional help. Therapy can include CBT for anger, where the therapist will help you identify triggers and develop effective coping techniques.

Worry, shame and guilt

In addition to anger, worry, shame and guilt are other emotions that can be difficult to deal with. Therapy for shame and therapy for guilt are also available and can be adapted to the individual’s needs.

Why Lavendla?


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Book a session

When you feel it is time to deal with your emotions, you can book an online session with a psychologist, therapist or coach through our website. Here you can receive professional help tailored to your needs.

Why choose Lavendla?

  • Personalised therapies: Our psychologists, therapists and coaches are experienced in a variety of methods and techniques.
  • Simple and accessible: With our video conferencing service, we make the difficult easier, giving you access to qualified therapists with just a few clicks.

Dealing with difficult emotions is a challenge, but it’s a challenge you don’t have to face alone. Through Lavendla, you get the help and support you need to improve your psychological well-being. Let’s make the difficult easier, together.

8 common questions about emotions and how to deal with them

What is emotion regulation and why is it important?

Emotion regulation is about how we manage and control our emotions in different situations. Having good emotion regulation helps us to feel better mentally and to interact more successfully with others.

How can I manage anger effectively?

A proven method is to take deep breaths and count to ten before reacting. Using relaxation techniques or physical activity can also help you reduce anger and tension.

What techniques can I use to regulate my emotions?

Mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) are some methods used to improve emotion regulation. Each method has its own benefits and can be adapted to your specific needs.

What should I do if I feel shame?

It is important not to overlook shame or push it away. Instead, talk openly about your feelings with a psychologist or therapist to work through them.

Is it normal to have mixed feelings?

Yes, it is completely normal. Emotions are complex and it is common to feel several different things at the same time. The important thing is to recognise and manage each emotion in a healthy way.

What is low affective tolerance?

Low affective tolerance is an inability to cope with unpleasant emotions or situations. It can lead to avoiding situations or using unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as eating or drinking too much.

How are emotions linked to mental health?

Your emotions are an important part of your mental health. Inability to regulate emotions can lead to stress, anxiety and depression. Therefore, it is important to seek professional help to better understand and manage your emotions.

Where can I seek help for my emotional problems?

If you are experiencing problems with emotions or emotion regulation, we recommend that you contact a psychologist or therapist. In an acute mental health emergency, call 111 or visit 111.nhs.uk immediately.

What are emotions?

Emotions arise within you when you react to something you see or experience. It can be difficult to describe an emotion. Some people describe happiness as ‘bubbling in my body’ or ‘I feel warm in my chest and I just want to laugh’. Some describe anger as ‘I get a headache, it feels like I’m boiling over’ or ‘I feel like shouting nasty things’. Emotions enable you to communicate and understand others. We use different facial expressions and body language to show each other what we think and feel. You also feel emotions when you think about something, such as a memory, or when are about to do something or meet someone.

Why is it good to know what emotions you feel?

Emotions guide you to understand yourself. If you have feelings of discomfort and fear, this tells you to avoid a situation or a person. If you feel joy and excitement, you learn to do more of what makes you happy or meet people who make you feel good. Emotions then enable you to communicate and understand others. We use different facial expressions and body language to show each other what we think and feel. The better you are at feeling and describing your emotions, the easier and smoother your communication will be.

Is it always good to show and tell how you feel?

This depends on the environment you are in. Contact a coach, therapist or mentor for guidance in dealing with a unique situation or environment. By meeting with a professional therapist, you can map out the consequences that may arise when you show or tell your emotions. Sometimes it is good to show emotions and sometimes it is better to hide them – or wait until a more appropriate time.

How therapy can help you manage and regulate your emotions

Feelings such as anger, shame or worry can be difficult to deal with, but you are not alone. Therapy can be an effective way to understand and regulate your emotions. Here is an overview of the common steps in a therapeutic process for emotional regulation.

  • Step 1: Assessment and diagnosis
    The first step is to understand what the problem is. You and your therapist will explore your emotional challenges and determine the best treatment plan for you.
  • Step 2: Goal setting
    Together with your therapist, you will set concrete goals that you want to achieve. This could be to reduce anger outbursts or to understand the root of your anxiety.
  • Step 3: Self-awareness and understanding
    Therapy can help you understand your feelings better. By talking about your experiences, you can start to see patterns and triggers.
  • Step 4: Tools and strategies
    Your therapist will introduce various tools and techniques to help you manage your emotions effectively. This could be breathing techniques, mindfulness or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
  • Step 5: Practice and implementation
    It is important to actively use the new skills in your daily life. It requires practice and patience but will get easier over time.
  • Step 6: Follow-up and Adjustment
    After testing the new strategies, you and your therapist will evaluate which ones work best for you and adjust the treatment plan if necessary.
  • Step 7: Maintenance and Termination
    Once you feel more comfortable with your skills and achieve your goals, you can start thinking about ending therapy or moving to less frequent sessions.

“What do I do now?”

Have you thought about therapy but didn’t know where to start? At Lavendla, we make the difficult easier. Our team of qualified psychologists and therapists are here to help you. Start your journey towards a more emotionally balanced life today.

Lavendla – Making the difficult easier

Written by dominic

Dominic is a Cape Town-based copywriter and editor with a background in psychology.