Love language test
Here you can do a self-test to help you reflect on which of the five different love languages you have in a love relationship.
Understanding how we give and receive love can have a huge impact on our relationships. American psychologist Gary Chapman developed the concept of the five love languages to explain how different people express and perceive love in different ways. According to Chapman, there are five main ways we communicate love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, favours and physical touch.
Why are love languages important?
We all have our own way of feeling loved and appreciated, and often we show love in the way we want to receive it – but this may not always match with how our partner, family members or friends receive love. If two people in a relationship have different love languages, it can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of being unappreciated, even if both actually care a lot about each other.
By recognising our own and others’ love languages, we can create deeper and more meaningful relationships, whether they are romantic partnerships, friendships or family ties.
The five love languages
- Words of affirmation – For some, words are very powerful. They feel loved when they receive compliments, encouragement and kind words. Saying things like ‘I appreciate you’ or ‘you mean a lot to me’ can make a big difference to someone with this love language.
- Quality time – These people value getting undivided attention from their loved ones. It’s not about what you do, but that you do it together and are truly present in the moment.
- Gifts – For some, love is most strongly expressed through gifts. They don’t have to be expensive – the important thing is that the gift shows that someone has thought about them and made an effort to make them happy.
- Service – Helping with practical things like cooking, cleaning or fixing something can be a clear demonstration of love for those who have this language. They feel loved when others do things for them without them having to ask.
- Physical touch – For some, physical closeness is the most important way to feel loved. Hugs, holding hands, a pat on the shoulder or other forms of touch can be crucial for them to feel safe and loved.
About the test
This self-test will help you identify which love language is most salient to you. By answering the questions, you will gain a better understanding of how you prefer to give and receive love. Once you know your love language, you can use that knowledge to strengthen your relationships and better understand the people around you. Take the quiz below and discover which love language is most important to you!
