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Home » Self-tests » Relationship anxiety Test

Relationship anxiety test

Here you can do a self-test to help you reflect on whether you have a control need and what you can do about it.

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Instructions

Read each question and choose the answer that best matches your experience.

How often do you worry about your partner leaving you, even if there is no reason?(Required)

Rarely or never.

Sometimes, but I can handle it.

Often, it affects my everyday life.

Do you often analyse your partner's behaviour to try to understand if something is wrong?(Required)

No, I trust my partner.

Sometimes, but it doesn’t take over my thoughts.

Yes, I often overanalyse and can’t let it go.

How do you react when your partner is busy and does not respond directly to your messages?(Required)

I feel safe and wait to hear from them.

I get a bit worried but try to stay calm.

I get severe anxiety and start thinking the worst.

Do you feel a strong need to receive affirmation from your partner?(Required)

No, I feel safe in the relationship.

Sometimes, but I try to trust my partner.

Yes, I often need to hear that my partner loves me and wants to be with me.

Do you avoid talking about problems in your relationship for fear that it will lead to arguments or separation?(Required)

No, I dare to speak openly.

Sometimes, but I try to be honest.

Yes, I avoid bringing up problems so as not to risk ruining the relationship.

How do you react when your partner wants time for themselves?(Required)

I understand and respect that.

I may feel some anxiety but try to give them space.

I become very insecure and think something is wrong.

Do you find it hard to trust your partner to be loyal, even without evidence of infidelity?(Required)

No, I trust my partner.

Sometimes I have doubts, but I try to think rationally.

Yes, I often suspect something is wrong even without evidence.

How often does your concern about the relationship affect your mood or your daily life?(Required)

Rarely or never.

Sometimes, but I try to manage it.

Often, it takes a lot of energy.

Do you find it hard to believe compliments or declarations of love from your partner?(Required)

No, I feel appreciated.

Sometimes, but I try to trust them.

Yes, I often think they just say it to be nice.

Do you have a fear of being alone if your relationship ends?(Required)

No, I know I can manage on my own.

Sometimes, but I try to think positively.

Yes, the thought of being alone scares me a lot.

Your score

Count your points and understand your result:

23-30 points: High need for control – You have a strong desire to control and influence your environment, which can cause stress for yourself and others. Working on trusting others and accepting uncertainty can be important for your well-being. Going to therapy can be helpful.
16-22 points: Moderate need for control – You like to be in control, but you can sometimes feel stressed when things don’t go as planned. Practising letting go can be helpful and professional support can also help.
10-15 points: Low need for control – You seem to have a balanced approach and can adapt to different situations without major stress.

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What are relationship anxiety?

relationship anxiety involve a strong desire to control and influence one’s environment to feel safe and avoid uncertainty. People with a strong need for control may find it difficult to trust others, delegate tasks or manage situations where they do not have full control. Control needs can be linked to stress, anxiety or a desire for perfection, and can affect both personal relationships and working life.

Signs of relationship anxiety:

You want to have full control over decisions and plans.
You get stressed or frustrated when things don’t go your way.
You find it hard to trust others to do things the ‘right’ way.
You tend to take on more responsibility than necessary.
You feel a strong need to organise and structure everything.
You find it difficult to deal with uncertainty and unexpected changes.

A certain need for control is natural and can be positive when it helps us to keep order and take responsibility. However, when the need for control becomes excessive, it can create stress, conflict and a sense of inadequacy. Understanding your own tendency to control can be the first step towards creating more balance and reducing unnecessary pressure on yourself and others.

This self-test is not a diagnosis, but it can give you an idea of how strong your need to control is. If you feel it is affecting your well-being, you may want to reflect on strategies to release control and practice trust. The test is not a substitute for a professional assessment and takes about 5 minutes to complete.

What should I do if I have symptoms of relationship anxiety?

If the results raise questions and your symptoms affect your functioning in areas such as work and relationships, it is recommended that you seek professional help and treatment. At Lavendla, we have psychologists, therapists and coaches who can help. Feel free to book a first visit today.

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