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The 5 love languages developed by Dr. Gary Chapman include five primary categories: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts and services. Each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

What are the 5 love languages?

The 5 love languages is a concept developed by Dr Gary Chapman. It involves understanding how we give and receive love in different ways. According to Chapman, each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

Understanding and using this love language can increase trust and improve communication in all types of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships and family ties.

Read more at the bottom of the page where we go through the 5 different love languages step by step, and how you and your partner can test which love languages you have. We also answer common questions related to love languages.

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Love languages – The 5 love languages

  1. Physical touch — People with this love language experience love through physical contact such as hugs, kisses and hand holding.
  2. Quality time — This type of person values spending quality time with their loved ones and is satisfied when they receive complete attention.
  3. Affirming words — For some, the language of love is hearing encouraging and affirming words, such as compliments and loving expressions.
  4. Gifts — People with this love language feel loved when they receive gifts that show someone is thinking about them.
  5. Service — Performing acts of service and helping out is the primary love language for some people.

4 common questions about the 5 love languages

How can you test your own love language?

There are several ways to discover your primary love language. One simple way is to reflect on what actions or words make you most happy and loved. Love languages can be a tool for our couple therapists when working with couples to understand each other’s feelings.

Can love languages change over time?

Yes, love languages can change over time. Life experiences and changes in relationships can affect which love language feels most relevant to you. It is important to be aware of these changes and communicate them with your partner.

How can you use love language to improve your relationship?

When you understand both your own and your partner’s love language, you can adapt how you express your love in a way that is meaningful to them. This can lead to greater intimacy and understanding in the relationship. The love languages can also help you to find out what you value in a relationship.

What are the different love languages and how do they work?

The 5 love languages are physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and services.

Physical touch: People with this love language experience love through physical contact such as hugs, kisses, and hand holding.
Quality time: This type of person values spending quality time with their loved ones and is satisfied when they receive complete attention.
Affirming words: For some, the love language is hearing encouraging and affirming words, such as compliments and loving expressions.
Gifts: People with this love language feel loved when they receive gifts that show someone is thinking about them.
Service: Performing acts of service and helping out is the primary love language for some people.

Conclusion — 5 love languages

In this article, we have explored the concept of love language, developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, to understand how we give and receive love in different ways. We have answered frequently asked questions about love language and provided personal advice from Lavendla’s couples therapist Kerstin.

Love languages include five primary categories: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts and services. Each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

It is important to understand your own love language and that of your partner to strengthen the relationship. By adapting how you express your love in a way that is meaningful to your partner, you can increase trust and improve communication.

Working with love language in your relationship can be a path to greater intimacy and understanding, and it starts with understanding and communicating love in a way that truly reaches the heart of your partner.

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Written by Ellen Lindgren

Licensed psychologist

Ellen is a licensed psychologist and has experience mainly in clinical psychology where she has worked with various conditions such as stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia, crises and trauma in primary care and psychiatry. She has also worked with research while studying in the US and with affective disorders and insomnia at Karolinska Institutet, Sweden.