Infidelity is a concept that casts a shadow over many relationships, and it can be a difficult reality to confront. What is infidelity for you? What is infidelity for others? We clarify the concepts, answer the most common questions and give you some valuable advice from our couples' therapist.
What is infidelity?
Infidelity is a concept that casts a shadow over many relationships, and it can be a difficult reality to confront. To understand this phenomenon, we need to start by defining what infidelity actually is.
Infidelity can be defined as breaking the agreement of exclusivity and honesty that exists in a relationship. It is a violation of the trust and devotion expected in a loving partnership. Infidelity can take several forms, such as physical infidelity involving physical acts such as sexual relations with someone outside the relationship. Or emotional infidelity which although it does not necessarily include physical intimacy, emotional infidelity involves investing feelings and love in someone other than your partner.
What you consider infidelity in your relationship is ultimately always your own definition. But a good start to creating that definition is to think about what would hurt you if your partner did, then you can define the boundaries based on that.
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Benedetta Osarenk
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4 tips on infidelity from our couples counselor
- Define infidelity – What is infidelity for you might not be infidelity for your partner? Be sure to talk through what constitutes infidelity in your relationship to avoid misunderstandings.
- Set boundaries and rebuild trust – If you feel there has been infidelity in your relationship, talk to your partner and set clear boundaries and structures to rebuild trust in the relationship. Infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship, it can be the start of getting to know each other better.
- Communicate openly – If infidelity has occurred, it is important to open up an honest and empathetic channel of communication with your partner. Share your feelings and listen to theirs to understand each other. Understanding and trust is the basis for working on the relationship.
- Talk to a counselor – Sometimes it may be necessary to seek the help of a counselor to navigate the complex emotions and consequences of infidelity. Couples therapy can be a place where you can both express your feelings in a safe environment.
9 common questions about infidelity in relationships
Couples therapy as a solution
In some cases, it may be helpful to seek professional help through couples therapy. A therapist can offer tools and perspectives to better understand each other’s needs and how to communicate in a way that builds the relationship, rather than breaking it down. You choose whether you want to meet a couple’s therapist in person or conduct online couple’s therapy in a video session.
Infidelity is a common part of relationships, but it is important to approach these feelings with thoughtfulness and openness. Through self-reflection, communication and possibly professional help, we can learn to deal with these feelings in a way that strengthens our relationship rather than weakens it.
Brief summary
Infidelity is a challenge that can affect many couples, and it is important to be well prepared to deal with this topic should it arise in your relationship. By understanding what infidelity is, the common signs and stages that follow, and by taking personalised advice from professional couples’ therapists, couples can start on the road to healing and renewed trust. Remember, it is possible to rebuild and strengthen your relationship after infidelity, but it requires time, work and commitment from both parties.
