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Are you struggling with a fear of abandonment or avoiding close relationships? If so, you may have relationship anxiety. Here we explain what it is and how you can get help.
Relationship anxiety is a form of anxiety disorder that is mainly linked to relationships. This anxiety can affect both individuals who are in a relationship and those who are single but worried about future relationships. It is a fear or worry that can be linked to many aspects of a romantic relationship, from the beginning of a relationship to its development and maintenance. The cause of relationship anxiety is often complex but it is possible to get treatment and relate better to other people.
Relationship anxiety can develop early in life during attachment to our parents or other caregivers. If caregivers weren’t predictable, often responded to us with anger, or were withdrawn and emotionally absent, then we carry these wounds into our future relationships. It is possible, however, to learn different ways of being in relationship to others with the help of treatment.
Attachment to other people is something that is established during the first years of life. Research shows that there are four different attachment styles: secure, ambivalent, avoidant and disorganized.
In secure attachment, there is often clear communication and stable contact with other people. There is little fear of closeness or abandonment. In ambivalent attachment, you may be very anxious and seek a lot of reassurance from your partner about not being abandoned. The avoidant attachment person is more withdrawn in relationships and does not get close to others. The disorganized attachment is very much based on fear and may become confused and unpredictable in contact with others.
Studies have shown that around 60% of the population have secure attachments. About 15% have avoidant attachment styles, 10-15% have an ambivalent attachment style and 15-20% have a disorganized attachment style. Attachment is not a diagnosis but only a theory that can explain how we behave in relationships. It is possible to get help if you think you have problematic attachment patterns.
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Causes of relationship anxiety can be varied and include previous negative relationship experiences growing up, low self-esteem, fear of repeating the mistakes of previous relationships, or insecurity and uncertainty in the current relationship. There may also be underlying trauma and it is good to seek help from a licensed psychologist or therapist if you have these issues.
Symptoms and signs of relationship anxiety can include:
If you are having difficulties in your relationship or relating in general, you may want to seek help. The problems may also be related to other disorders such as trauma, social phobia or other anxiety disorders so it is important to get an assessment from a licensed psychologist or qualified therapist.
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Treatment for relationship anxiety can include therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to work on triggering situations, thoughts and behaviors. Couples therapy can also be helpful in managing anxiety within a relationship. Developing good communication and trust is also key to reducing relationship anxiety.
The length of treatment depends on the severity of the problem. It ranges from several sessions to several years, depending on how it manifests itself. Finding a psychologist or therapist that you can trust and rely on is essential as the relationship with the therapist is important.
Relationships with other people are human experiences that touch the core of our existence. It is therefore useful to seek help to change your patterns and create more intimacy in your relationships. Our service offers contact with psychologists and therapists who are ready to support you through your journey.
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Relationship anxiety is a form of anxiety disorder that is mainly linked to intimate relationships.
Causes of relationship anxiety can be varied and include previous negative relationship experiences growing up, low self-esteem, fear of repeating the mistakes of previous relationships, or insecurity and uncertainty in the current relationship. Underlying trauma can also be a cause and it is important to seek help from a licensed psychologist for these symptoms.
Attachment is something we create in relation to our primary caregivers depending on how they meet our needs. There are four different attachment styles: secure, ambivalent, avoidant and disorganized. Attachment theory is a theory of relating and not a diagnosis.
Relationship anxiety appears specifically in close intimate relationships. Regular anxiety can surface in a variety of ways and is not necessarily confined to relationships.
Studies have shown that around 60% of the population are securely attached, around 15% avoidant, 10-15% ambivalent and 15-20% have a disorganized attachment.
The foundation for relationship anxiety can be laid in the early years of life but it can also be influenced by later events of stress and difficult life events such as trauma.
Social media can exacerbate relationship anxiety by comparing oneself a lot to others, which can increase negative feelings.
There are many symptoms of relationship anxiety including jealousy, a fear of rejection, and a fear of intimacy.
It is not uncommon to feel fear in the context of relationship anxiety, although in more severe cases the fear tends to be stronger. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and work through them, possibly with the help of a therapist.
Treatment for relationship anxiety includes therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to work through anxiety-provoking thoughts and behaviors.
Schema therapy is a cognitive therapy method developed to address different attitudes and life patterns that have been present since childhood and adolescence.
Through our site you can book an initial session with a licensed psychologist or therapist to describe your problems and start planning a treatment. We have therapists working in CBT, schema therapy and couples therapy. We can help you make the difficult things easier.
Here we go through how relationship anxiety could be treated using CBT.
The first step is for a licensed psychologist or qualified therapist to help you evaluate your situation and history. They will assess whether your problems may also be related to other mental health problems. You may also be asked to complete assessment forms.
You will learn about how your thoughts, feelings and behaviors affect you both physically and mentally. They work on analyzing situations and also set goals for treatment.
You will work on identifying and changing patterns of thoughts and behaviors. You and your therapist can work with different tools to overcome your problem. You will be given homework to practice between sessions.
If you experience problems since childhood that cause a lot of suffering in relation to other people, you can try schema therapy. It is a cognitive method developed to work on life patterns that cause problems and aims to increase the quality of life.
If you have problems in your romantic relationship and have developed unhealthy patterns, you can also go to couple therapy. Integrative Behavioral Therapy for Couples (IBCT) is a form of CBT meant especially for couples.
You will be supported by your psychologist throughout the process. At the end of the treatment, you will also receive a plan to continue practicing and maintain your progress over time.
Feel free to book a first session with one of our licensed psychologists or therapists to see how we can help you. We make the hard things easier.