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It's normal for relationships to change over time. If you and your partner are looking for better ways to communicate, new ways to explore each other, or just get to know each other better, therapy can help.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a way of engaging that focuses on improving the relationship between two people. Couples therapists are trained to help each person in the relationship be able to grow in their respect and understanding of the other person. Sometimes couples therapy is used to strengthen the relationship, and other times it is used to advise couples on whether their relationship should continue or not. Together with the therapist, couples can gain a better understanding of each other and therefore better manage difficulties that can arise.
What set our therapist apart was her genuine empathy and personal insight. Not only did she possess a deep understanding of neurodiversity, but she also shared personal experiences that resonated with us, creating an instant connection and fostering a sense of trust!
Benedetta Osarenk
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Couples therapy can also help couples who have no immediate problems in their relationship. Therapy often strengthens the bonds of the relationship and can also prevent future challenges faced as a couple. Read more below or contact one of our therapists directly to see how we can help you in your particular situation.
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What is talked about in couples therapy?
It’s easy to think that couples therapy is about immediately discussing big problems in the relationship. While this might be one approach, it is equally important to understand what works well in the relationship. A couples therapist will encourage both parties to talk about why they see as the strengths of the relationship as well as what could work better.
Because we are all a product of our past experiences, often couples therapists will take time to explore the histories of each partner. This is important as couples grow in their understanding of each other, and makes it easier for the therapist to provide appropriate guidance and recommendations.
An important element of couples therapy is communicating in real time so the therapist can understand how couples communicate. The observations that therapists collect can be invaluable to the success of a relationship. Therapists can help people express their feelings, thoughts, and wishes by acting as mediators and interpreters, allowing individuals to be heard by the other person. This eventually leads to the development of strategies and skills couples can use to improve their relationship.
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8 common questions and answers about couples therapy
When should you seek help with couples therapy?
Though many couples struggle with communication, each relationship and its challenges are unique. If you’re feeling more distant from your partner than usual, the relationship is requiring more from you than you get from it, you’re having trouble trusting each other, you’re considering divorce, or your sex life if unsatisfying, it’s time to seek help from a couples therapist.
How much does it cost to go to couples therapy?
Lavendla therapists typically charge between $30 and $100 per session, as charges are based on session length and level of experience. Contact a therapist to determine their specific charges.
What is the purpose of couples therapy?
Couples therapy aims to help couples improve their communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their relationship. It can also help increase understanding of each other and create a more satisfying and sustainable relationship.
How long does couples therapy take?
The timeframe for couples therapy varies depending on the complexity of the issues being addressed. A shorter period of therapy may be sufficient for some couples while others may need several months of regular sessions. The therapist will discuss and suggest a suitable schedule based on your needs.
What methods and techniques are used in couple therapy?
Therapists use different methods and techniques based on the couple’s specific needs and goals. Common methods include communication training, managing conflict resolution, emotional processing, and exploring childhood patterns. The therapist may also provide homework and exercises to strengthen the relationship between sessions.
How can you prepare for couples therapy?
Preparing for couples therapy involves being open to reflecting on your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and being willing to listen to and support your partner. It can be useful to think about your goals and expectations for therapy and be prepared to communicate openly with each other and the therapist.
What can you do if your partner is reluctant to engage in couples therapy?
If a partner is reluctant to participate in couples therapy, it is important to respect their feelings and not force them into something they are not comfortable with. Instead, you can suggest that you discuss your concerns together and explore the possibility of seeking help later. Being open and non-judgmental can help create an atmosphere of mutual respect.
What if couples therapy doesn’t work for us?
If couples therapy isn’t helping your relationship, it is important to communicate this with your therapist. They can adjust the approach or suggest alternative strategies. In some cases, it may be that therapy is not the best solution for your specific situation and it may be valuable to explore other options such as individual therapy or other resources.
Relationship problems often encountered in couple therapy
Relationship problems can take different forms. Here are some problems that are more common.
- Communication difficulties
- Sexual difficulties
- Infidelity
- Lack of trust
- Abuse
- Divorce
- Jealousy
- Financial issues
- Gender roles/roles in the home
3 tips for people considering couples therapy
- Invest in your relationship.
Being passionately in love is wonderful. At the beginning of a relationship, it can seem as if there are almost no obstacles. Yet as life continues, that initial ‘high’ wears off and couples may begin experiencing conflict and trouble communicating. If you notice these things happening, don’t wait – reach out to a couples therapist for help before problems get worse. Allowing a couples therapist help you find the joy and desire to be with each other again could be the best investment you make. - Learn to express yourself through ‘I-messages’.
If you have a tendency to frequently point out your partner’s flaws or shortcomings, your partner will probably become defensive about what you say about him or her. It’s easy to get caught up in this dynamic and it can easily kill the wonderful feeling you have for each other. An effective way to have a sustainable connection and fruitful communication can be to learn how to express ‘I-messages’. This is based on taking responsibility for your own feelings and thoughts by expressing them to your partner. You do not pay attention to your partner’s behavior in the first place, but to your own feelings and thoughts. Examples of so-called. You-message: “You are so stupid! Your ears are wrong because you can’t hear what I’m saying!” Example of I-message: Sometimes I don’ t feel listened to. I don’t feel understood. I get sad when that happens. - You don’t have to separate when someone has been unfaithful.
Many people may think that you automatically have to separate when someone in the relationship has been unfaithful, but it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. Infidelity can be an expression of many things, and as strange as it might seem doesn’t always directly relate to the couple’s dynamic. A couples therapist can help you find the root cause of the infidelity and decide whether the relationship is salvageable. Be honest in your communication and use the therapist to help you accept each other’s feelings. The wounds of betrayal and infidelity can be healed, even if it takes time.
