4,7 of 5 in 5000+ reviews
Thousands of clients trust Lavendla Therapy for delivering exceptional service and support.
The idea of couples therapy can be anxiety-provoking for many people. What will it be like? Will I have to talk about things that will make my partner upset? Is couples therapy even helpful? Below we answer many common questions about couples therapy.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a way of engaging that focuses on improving the relationship between two people. Couples therapists are trained to help each person in the relationship be able to grow in their respect and understanding of the other person. Sometimes couples therapy is used to strengthen the relationship, and other times it is used to advise couples on whether their relationship should continue or not. Together with the therapist, couples can gain a better understanding of each other and therefore better manage difficulties that can arise.
The therapy process involves exploring the history of the relationship, improving the expression of thoughts and feelings, addressing specific problems such as finances or parenting, and developing conflict management strategies. Couples therapy is valuable during crises like infidelity or major changes, and the goal is to help the couple understand what is best for them, whether that means staying together or separating in a healthy way. Seeking couples therapy can be a powerful step towards revitalizing a relationship and building a stronger, more fulfilling future together.
Is couples therapy effective?
Couples therapy has proven to be effective for many couples facing challenges in their relationships. Effectiveness can vary depending on the therapy method used, the couple’s commitment to the therapy process, the therapist’s skills and experience, and the nature of the problems or conflicts in the relationship.
What set our therapist apart was her genuine empathy and personal insight. Not only did she possess a deep understanding of neurodiversity, but she also shared personal experiences that resonated with us, creating an instant connection and fostering a sense of trust!
Benedetta Osarenk
Our counselors
Click here to view all counselors and therapists.
How do you know when it’s time to get help?
Determining when it’s time to seek couples therapy can be based on several signs. If you are experiencing constant communication problems, recurring conflicts without resolution, feel emotionally distant, or have major problems such as infidelity, it may be time to consider professional help.
Other indications include difficulty coping with major life changes, problems with sexual intimacy, disagreements over important life decisions, and if thoughts of separation or divorce are becoming more frequent. Seeking couples therapy is a step towards taking care of and improving your relationship, and demonstrates a commitment to working together to resolve problems.
Common questions asked in couples therapy
In couples therapy, questions are used to deepen understanding between partners and explore the dynamics of the relationship. Questions can relate to the current state of the relationship, challenges faced, and what the couple hopes to achieve from therapy. Communication is often the focus, with questions about how the couple handles disagreements and whether there are topics they are avoiding. The therapist may also ask about feelings and needs, how love is expressed, and how conflicts are resolved. Discussions about changes in the relationship over time, wishes for the future, and intimacy and closeness are also key. These questions aim to encourage honesty and reflection, help couples understand each other better, and work towards a stronger relationship.
Book a meeting
Fill in the form, choose a counselor and proceed to payment.
How does treatment for relationship problems work?
Couples therapy begins with initial sessions where the therapist gets to know the couple and their challenges, followed by setting joint goals to improve the relationship, such as better communication or conflict management. The work phase focuses on developing communication skills, resolving conflicts, working through emotional issues, solving problems and introducing positive behavioral changes, with active input from both partners. There are often exercises to work on between sessions. The process ends with an evaluation and a plan to maintain and improve the relationship going forward. Each session is usually 60 minutes and can be weekly if necessary, but often every two or three weeks. The length of a couple’s therapy is customized but is usually around 10 sessions.
What is the therapist’s role in couples therapy?
The therapist’s role is to guide and support the couple through the process, with the couple’s involvement being crucial to success. The therapist helps the couple to identify patterns and challenges and to work on different strategies to change communication and behaviors to make the relationship more satisfying. They share the floor and allow both parties to communicate openly to find solutions to problems. Couples therapy aims to provide insights and tools for a stronger and more satisfying relationship.
Are there different methods of couples therapy?
There are several different approaches to couple therapy. Here are two evidence-based approaches that are commonly used:
1. Integrative behavioral therapy for couples (IBCT)
IBCT aims to help couples accept the irreconcilable differences between them and work on increasing closeness and understanding by improving emotional acceptance and empathic communication. The method combines behavioral changes with acceptance strategies. It is an evidence-based approach, meaning that it has been shown to produce good results in research and is a further development of cognitive behavioral therapy for couples.
2. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)
EFT is a method that focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners by exploring the emotional responses that underlie the couple’s interaction patterns. The therapy helps couples identify and express their underlying emotional needs and learn to meet each other’s needs in a more satisfying way. EFT is an evidence-based approach that has been shown to produce good results in research.
Each method has its own strengths and may be more or less appropriate depending on the couple’s specific situation and needs. Many couples therapists use a combination of methods to best address the couple’s unique challenges.
Why Lavendla?
Choose your own counselor
Browse and select a counselor based on reviews, area of focus, and education, ensuring you find the perfect match.
45, 60 or 90 min sessions
Choose a 45, 60, or 90-minute session, or a package, providing flexibility and control over the duration and intensity.
12 common questions and answers about couples therapy
What is couples therapy?
Couple therapy is psychotherapy that helps couples resolve conflicts, improve communication and strengthen their relationship. It is suitable for couples in all relationship types and focuses on addressing issues that affect the health of the relationship.
Is couples therapy effective?
Couples therapy has proven to be effective for many couples facing challenges in their relationships, with around 70% of those who attend couples’ therapy experiencing an improved relationship.
How do you know when it’s time to seek couples therapy?
If you are experiencing communication problems, recurring conflicts, emotional distance, stress or have trust issues such as infidelity, it may be time to consider professional help. You may also have intimacy issues or recurring thoughts of separation or divorce.
How does treatment for relationship problems work?
Treatment often starts with an assessment phase to identify problems and patterns. This is followed by an active treatment phase where work on tools and strategies to change patterns is central. Finally, there is a closing phase where the treatment is summarized for further work after the therapy.
What are exercises in couple therapy?
Couples therapy uses various exercises to help couples break patterns and develop a better relationship. These include communication, spending time together, and showing gratitude.
What are common questions in couples therapy?
Questions can relate to the current state of the relationship, challenges faced, and what the couple hopes to achieve from therapy.
Can couples therapy be done online?
Yes, online couples therapy can be just as effective as in-person. Lavenda’s therapists offer services exclusively online using our secure video platform.
What is the therapist’s role in therapy?
The therapist leads the process and helps the couple to identify patterns and challenges and to work on different strategies to change communication and behaviors to make the relationship more satisfying.
What is IBCT?
IBCT (Integrative Behavioral Therapy for Couples) is an evidence-based therapy that aims to help couples accept the differences between them and work on increasing closeness and understanding by improving emotional acceptance and empathic communication. It combines behavioral changes with acceptance strategies.
What is EFT?
EFT (emotionally focused therapy) is an evidence-based therapy that focuses on building and strengthening the emotional bond between couples by exploring and reshaping the negative patterns of interaction that contribute to conflict and distance in the relationship.
My partner has mental health issues, can we go to couples therapy?
If your partner has problems with depression or other mental health issues such as addiction, it is important to seek help for this separately from couples therapy. These problems need to be addressed to get the full benefit from couples therapy.
Where can I seek help?
Go ahead and take a look at our therapists’ profiles, choose one with couples therapy experience, and book a consultation. We make the hard things easier.
Treatment for relationship problems with Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT)
Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT) is an evidence-based form of couple therapy that aims to help couples improve their relationship by accepting each other and increasing the couple’s emotional closeness. IBCT combines traditional behavioral therapy techniques with a focus on both change and acceptance. Here is how a treatment with IBCT usually works:
Initial phase
- Assessment: Treatment begins with a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship, including their current problems, relationship history, and each party’s perspectives and experiences.
- Feedback session: The therapist provides feedback based on the initial assessment. This phase often includes discussions about the couple’s strengths and areas that need to be developed.
Work phase
- Focus on acceptance: IBCT emphasizes the importance of accepting unbridgeable differences between partners. The therapist works with the couple to help them understand and empathically accept each other’s needs, desires, and patterns of behavior that cannot be easily changed.
- Emotional closeness:Â By encouraging openness and communication, the therapist helps the couple increase their emotional closeness and understanding of each other.
- Behavior change:Â Although the focus is on acceptance, IBCT also includes strategies for behavior change. This can involve developing new communication skills, solving problems, and working on improving daily interactions.
Closure
- Evaluation of progress:Â The therapist and the couple together evaluate the progress made during therapy and discuss any future steps or continued support.
IBCT focuses on helping couples develop a deeper understanding and acceptance of each other, which can lead to a more satisfying and sustainable relationship. By balancing acceptance with active change efforts, IBCT aims to reduce conflict, increase closeness and strengthen the emotional bond between partners.
Read more
