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Some babies are classified as "high-need babies" due to their increased need for attention, comfort, and engagement. We are here to provide you with practical tips on how to care for a high-need baby with ease, ensuring both the baby and you are well-cared for.
What is a high-need baby?
A ‘high need baby’ refers to babies with a more intense need than the average baby. These children may require more attention, comfort and involvement from their parents or caregivers. Characteristics often associated with high-need babies include:
- Intense need for closeness: These children often want to be held or carried more time than other children.
- Difficulty sleeping: They may have trouble falling asleep and wake up more often at night.
- Intense reactions: The child may strongly react to hunger, fatigue or other discomforts.
- Requires frequent nursing or feeding: They may want to nurse or eat more often, sometimes as a form of comfort rather than hunger.
- Difficulty self-soothing: High-need babies can be more challenging when upset and may not always find comfort in standard soothing methods.
- Sensitivity to the environment: They may be more sensitive to light, sound or environmental changes.
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The concept of high-need babies was popularized by Dr William Sears, an American paediatrician who observed that some children seem to have a higher need for physical closeness and attention to feel safe and content. It is important to note that these characteristics are not medical diagnoses but rather a way to describe a behaviour pattern requiring more parental support and adaptation.
9 Tips for parents with high-need babies
Parenting a high-need baby can be demanding and exhausting, but some strategies and approaches can make life easier and can help strengthen the bond between you and your child.
1. Accept your baby’s needs
Accepting that your baby has higher needs than others can help you adjust your expectations and find the patience needed to meet those needs with understanding and love.
2. Create closeness
Physical closeness, such as hugs, skin-to-skin contact, and wearing a baby carrier or sling, can provide comfort and security to your high-needs child and strengthen your bond.
3. Flexible routines
While routines are essential for all children, high-need babies may require more flexibility. Be ready to adapt schedules based on your child’s signals and needs.
4. Learn calming techniques
Babies are calmed in different ways. Experiment with rocking, singing, soothing sounds or quiet walks to see what works best for your baby.
5. Prioritize sleep
Parents with high-need babies commonly suffer from sleep deprivation. Try to rest when you can and ask for help so that you can take short breaks to recover.
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6. Simplify your life
Minimize other sources of stress in your life as much as possible. This may mean asking for help from family and friends, lowering expectations for household chores or taking a break from social commitments.
7. Seek support
Finding a community or support group with other parents of high-need babies can be invaluable. Sharing experiences and getting support from those who understand can make a big difference.
8. Take care of yourself
Don’t forget about your well-being. Eating well, exercising and giving yourself mental rest are essential to being the parent your child needs.
9. Professional help
If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A paediatrician, psychologist or family counsellor can offer valuable support and advice.
Parenting a high-need baby is challenging, but it is also an opportunity to build a deep and meaningful relationship with your child. You can navigate this unique journey through patience, love, and the proper support.
Treatment with a child psychologist
Seeking help is essential in effectively dealing with these challenges. Turning to a paediatrician, child psychologist, support groups, or family and friends can provide the necessary resources and relief. Support can offer different perspectives and coping strategies, which are crucial for the well-being of both the child and the parents.
Getting help is not a sign of weakness but a solid measure to ensure you and your child get the support you need. Remember, your health is just as important, and caring for yourself will help you be the parent your high-need baby needs. Seeking help from a child psychologist is a crucial step when a child is experiencing mental health difficulties. Feel free to consult one of our child psychologists at Lavendla if needed.
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12 FAQs about High-Need Babies
What is a high-need baby?
The term high-need baby refers to babies with more needs than an average baby. These babies may require more attention, comfort and involvement from their parents or caregivers.
What characterizes a high-need baby?
High-need babies require more closeness and may have difficulties with sleep, show strong reactions, need frequent breastfeeding or feeding, are challenging to learn and are extra sensitive to their environment.
Who developed the concept of ‘high-need’ babies?
The concept of high-need babies was popularized by Dr William Sears, an American paediatrician who observed that some children seem to have a higher need for physical closeness and attention to feel safe and content.
Is a high-need baby a diagnosis?
It is important to note that these characteristics are not medical diagnoses but rather a way to describe a behaviour pattern requiring more parental support and adaptation.
What can you do as a parent of a high-need baby?
Parenting a high-need baby requires patience and creativity. Strategies include accepting the child’s needs, creating physical proximity, flexible routines, learning calming techniques, prioritizing sleep, simplifying life, seeking support, and self-care. Sometimes, professionals help to make life easier and strengthen the relationship with your child.
How long do babies need to sleep?
In the first few months, babies usually sleep between 15 and 18 hours per day, but sleep patterns can vary, with periods ranging from a few minutes to several hours at a time.
My baby cries a lot. What can I do?
If a baby is crying, it may help to gently rock the baby, offer food, check the diaper, or create a calming environment. It is also essential to check if the baby needs comforting or has other immediate needs to be met and ask for help if necessary.
What is a child psychologist?
A child psychologist is a trained professional with knowledge and experience working to improve the well-being and mental health of children and their parents.
What does a child psychologist do?
A child psychologist provides therapy and counselling and supports families with parental and family support. They also collaborate with schools to create a conducive environment for the child.
Can I see a child psychologist privately?
There are many private child psychologists in South Africa. At Lavendla, we have several psychologists with extensive experience working with children and young people.
Can I see a child psychologist online?
All of our child psychologists work digitally at Lavendla.
Where can I go if I or my child needs help from a child psychologist?
At Lavendla, we have experienced child psychologists available.
How can a treatment with a child psychologist work?
Seeking medical help is an important step when a child is experiencing mental health difficulties or if you are having difficulties as a parent. Here is a brief overview of what treatment can look like:
Initial consultation: The first step is an initial consultation, during which the psychologist or other qualified health professional assesses a child and their parent’s needs by talking to them.
Treatment plan: An individualized plan is developed based on the child’s specific situation and needs.
Types of therapy: Common approaches include play therapy for younger children, where play is used as a tool for expression and processing, and talk therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for older children, which focus on changing negative thought patterns and behaviours. Other methods, such as family therapy, can also be helpful.
Parental counselling: Parents receive guidance and support to help their child at home better.
Monitoring and adjustment: The treatment plan is continuously evaluated to ensure the best possible outcome.
It is important to remember that each child is unique, and treatment may vary. Working with a child psychologist can give you and your child the tools to manage their emotions and behaviours healthily. At Lavendla, we have child psychologists who can help make the hard stuff easier.
