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Developing healthy self-esteem from an early age is vital. This article will explain the concept of self-esteem, help you recognize the signs of low self-esteem, and provide effective strategies to enhance your child's self-esteem.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem reflects how we perceive and value ourselves. In children, this self-image is particularly malleable and is influenced by various factors, from family dynamics to interactions at school. Positive self-esteem is the foundation of a healthy mental state, while low self-esteem can lead to a range of negative consequences, both psychologically and socially.
Why is it important?
For children, who find it difficult to understand themselves and the world around them, strong self-esteem is like armour. It affects everything from academic performance to social skills and the ability to cope with adversity. However, a child who struggles with low self-esteem can experience anxiety, depression and even social isolation.
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However, with awareness and the right support, children with low self-esteem can learn to see their own values and strengths. This is where we, as guardians, teachers, and mentors, play a crucial role.
Symptoms of low self-esteem in children
Recognizing the signs of low self-esteem in children is vital to provide the proper support. Here is an overview of common symptoms:
- Negative self-image: The child sees themselves in a negative light and does not feel as good as others.
- Challenge avoidance: Fear of failure causes children to avoid new things.
- Social withdrawal: They withdraw from others to avoid criticism or rejection.
- Sensitivity to criticism: Even mild criticism is hard and can lead to strong reactions.
- Perfectionism: The child places unreasonable demands on themselves, which creates frustration.
- Low frustration threshold: Easily frustrated or upset, especially when challenged.
- Self-criticism: The child is hard on themselves for small mistakes or things they can’t control.
- Fear of new experiences: Because of the fear of failure, they stick to familiar activities.
- Feelings of hopelessness: Sometimes they may express a feeling that there is no hope for improvement.
If you notice these signs in a child, it may be a good idea to seek professional help to support them.
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Self-esteem in children during each age group
Supporting self-esteem in children is essential throughout their developmental stages. Here is a brief overview of how self-esteem develops from childhood to adolescence.
Early childhood (0-5 years)
Children explore and get to know themselves. Positive feedback and encouragement are crucial to building self-confidence and security.
School-age (6-12 years)
When children start school, they face new challenges. Self-esteem is linked to achievement and social context. Highlighting individual strengths helps children feel valuable.
Teenage years (13-19 years)
Adolescence is a time of identity search and physical changes. Peers and social media strongly influence self-esteem. Open communication and support for independence are important.
Consistent support
Feeling loved and valued is fundamental to children’s self-esteem at any age. Being present and encouraging self-expression lays the foundation for a positive self-image and future.
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What can parents do to strengthen a child’s self-esteem?
Parents can strengthen their children’s self-esteem by offering unconditional love, praising efforts rather than just results, actively listening to their thoughts and feelings, encouraging independence, and modelling positive self-image and problem-solving skills. These actions create a secure foundation on which children can grow and develop a strong sense of self-worth.
Treatment with a child psychologist
Seeking help from a child psychologist is a crucial step when a child is experiencing mental health difficulties. Treatment with a child psychologist is adapted to the child’s needs and may include methods such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, play therapy, family therapy and group therapy. The aim is to improve the child’s emotional well-being and develop coping strategies. The child psychologist works closely with the child and their family, and sometimes with the school, to create a safe environment where the child can learn to manage emotions and behaviours effectively.
It is important to remember that each child is unique so that treatment may vary. Working with a child psychologist can give your child the tools they need to manage their emotions and behaviours healthily.
12 FAQs about Self-Esteem in Children
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem reflects how we perceive and value ourselves. In children, this self-image is remarkably malleable and is influenced by various factors, from family dynamics to interactions at school.
Why is self-esteem important in children?
Strong self-esteem is like armour for children challenged to understand themselves and the world around them. It affects everything from academic performance to social skills and the ability to cope with adversity.
What are the symptoms of low self-esteem in children?
Identifying the signs of low self-esteem in children, such as negative self-image, avoidance of new challenges and social withdrawal, is crucial to providing appropriate support and assistance.
How does self-esteem develop in children at different ages?
Children’s self-esteem develops gradually from early childhood through school to adolescence, with each phase bringing new challenges and opportunities to support their growing self-image and independence.
What can parents do to boost children’s self-esteem?
Parents can strengthen their children’s self-esteem by offering unconditional love, praising effort rather than just results, actively listening to their thoughts and feelings, encouraging independence, and modelling positive self-image and problem-solving skills.
My child has a high need for affirmation. What can I do?
Giving children consistent attention and recognition is essential. It encourages independence and helps them find strength and value within themselves, meeting their high need for affirmation.
Can a psychologist treat children?
Psychological treatment works well for children, but it must be tailored to the child’s age and the issues that need to be addressed. Standard methods are talk therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
What is CBT?
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based therapy that helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and behaviours contributing to ill health.
What is a child psychologist?
A child psychologist is a trained professional with knowledge and experience in the mental health of children and their parents. They offer therapy and counselling and work with families in parental support and the whole family when needed. They also collaborate with schools to create a conducive environment for the child.
Can I see a child psychologist privately?
There are many private child psychologists in South Africa. At Lavendla, we have psychologists with extensive experience working with children and young people.
Can I see a child psychologist online?
All of our child psychologists work digitally at Lavendla.
Where can I go if I or my child needs help from a child psychologist?
At Lavendla, we have experienced child psychologists who can also help.
How does treatment with a child psychologist work?
Seeking medical help is an important step when a child is experiencing mental health difficulties or if you are having difficulties as a parent. Here is a brief overview of what treatment can look like:
Initial consultation: The first step is an initial consultation, during which the psychologist or other qualified health professional assesses a child and their parent’s needs by talking to them.
Treatment plan: An individualized plan is developed based on the child’s specific situation and needs.
Types of therapy: Common approaches include play therapy for younger children, where play is used as a tool for expression and processing, and talk therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for older children, which focus on changing negative thought patterns and behaviours. Other methods, such as family therapy, can also be helpful.
Parental counselling: Parents receive guidance and support to help their child at home better.
Monitoring and adjustment: The treatment plan is continuously evaluated to ensure the best possible outcome.
It is important to remember that each child is unique, and treatment may vary. Working with a child psychologist can give you and your child the tools to manage their emotions and behaviours healthily. At Lavendla, we have child psychologists who can help make the hard stuff easier.
