Infidelity can cast a shadow over many relationships, and it can be a difficult reality to confront. What does infidelity mean to you? What does it mean to others? We will clarify the concepts, answer the most common questions, and provide valuable advice from our couples' therapist.
What is infidelity?
Infidelity is a concept that casts a shadow over many relationships, and it can be a brutal reality to confront. To understand this phenomenon, we need to start by defining infidelity.
Infidelity can be defined as breaking the agreement of exclusivity and honesty that exists in a relationship. It violates the trust and devotion expected in a loving partnership. Infidelity can take several forms, such as physical infidelity, which involves physical acts such as sexual relations with someone outside the relationship, or emotional infidelity, which, although it does not necessarily include physical intimacy, involves investing feelings and love in someone other than your partner.
What you consider infidelity in your relationship is ultimately always your definition. But a good start to creating that definition is to think about what would hurt you if your partner did it. Then, you can define the boundaries based on that.
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4 tips on infidelity from our couples counsellor
- Define infidelity: What is infidelity for you might not be infidelity for your partner? Be sure to discuss what constitutes infidelity in your relationship to avoid misunderstandings.
- Set boundaries and rebuild trust: If you feel there has been infidelity in your relationship, talk to your partner and set clear boundaries and structures to rebuild trust. Infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship; it can be the start of getting to know each other better.
- Communicate openly: If infidelity has occurred, it is important to open an honest and empathetic communication channel with your partner. Share your feelings and listen to theirs to understand each other. Understanding and trust are the basis for working on the relationship.
- Talk to a counsellor: Sometimes, it may be necessary to seek the help of a counsellor to navigate the complex emotions and consequences of infidelity. Couples therapy can be where you can express your feelings in a safe environment.
9 FAQs about Infidelity in Relationships
What is infidelity?
Infidelity means breaking the agreement of exclusivity and honesty that exists in a relationship. It can include physical intimacy or emotional connection with someone outside the relationship.
What are the most common signs of infidelity?
Common signs of infidelity can include secretive behaviour, reduced interest in the current partner, changes in schedules or lifestyle, and emotional distance.
How common is infidelity?
Statistics on infidelity vary and depend on how infidelity is defined. Unfortunately, infidelity is relatively common from a more general perspective. Many factors can influence the risk of infidelity, including the quality of the relationship and individual circumstances.
What are the most common phases after infidelity?
Phases after infidelity can include shock, anger, grief and acceptance. It is a complex process that requires time and work to heal.
How can one get over infidelity?
Getting over infidelity requires patience and communication. Open dialogue and professional help from a couple’s therapist can be valuable.
How do I deal with the need for validation after infidelity?
Confirmation needs after infidelity are understandable. Communicating openly with your partner and building trust over time can help alleviate the need for validation.
How does ADHD affect relationships and the risk of infidelity?
ADHD can affect relationships through distraction and impulsivity, but there is no research showing that this is more prevalent in relationships with ADHD. As with all relationships, it is essential to work on communication and strategies to reduce the risk of infidelity.
What are the most common causes of infidelity?
The causes of infidelity can vary, but common factors include lack of intimacy in the relationship, emotional challenges and temptations in the workplace.
What questions should be asked in cases of infidelity to understand the causes?
Essential questions to ask in cases of infidelity include “Why did it happen?” and “How did you feel in the relationship?”. Communication is critical to understanding the causes of infidelity.
Couples therapy as a solution
In some cases, seeking professional help through couples therapy may be helpful. A therapist can offer tools and perspectives to understand better each other’s needs and how to communicate in a way that builds the relationship rather than breaking it down. You can meet a therapist online for couples therapy in a video session.
It is essential to approach these feelings with thoughtfulness and openness. Through self-reflection, communication and possibly professional help, we can learn to deal with these feelings in a way that strengthens our relationship rather than weakens it.
Summary
Infidelity is a challenge that can affect many couples, and it is essential to be well-prepared to deal with this topic should it arise in your relationship. By understanding what infidelity is, the common signs and stages that follow, and by getting counselling from professional couples’ therapists, couples can start on the road to healing and renewed trust. Remember, it is possible to rebuild and strengthen your relationship after infidelity, but it requires time, work and commitment from both parties.
