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If you struggle with managing your emotions and have difficulties in close relationships, you might be experiencing symptoms of a personality disorder. Here, we will explain what borderline personality disorder is and how to seek help.

What is borderline personality disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EIPS). It is a mental illness and personality disorder characterized by significant emotional instability, intense relationships with others and a strong fear of abandonment. People with BPD may experience rapid and extreme mood swings, and their self-image may also be unstable.

This is a severe condition that often involves self-harm, suicidal thoughts and substance abuse. If you have these problems, you should primarily seek help through your health care centre to get a referral to a specialist psychiatrist. In the case of suicidal thoughts, you can call 0800 456 789 or contact emergency psychiatry.

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What is a personality disorder?

Personality disorders, or personality syndromes, are psychological conditions that affect an individual’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours in a way that often differs significantly from society’s norms and expectations.

Why do people get borderline personality disorder?

The causes of borderline personality disorder are not entirely clear but may be a combination of genetic, biological and environmental factors, including early trauma such as sexual abuse.

There doesn’t have to be trauma, but there are also theories that the way people are treated growing up if parents have had a lack of empathy and mirroring the child emotionally so that they feel seen and heard, can contribute to the problem.

In adolescence, there may be symptoms similar to borderline personality disorder, as this period involves an exploration of identity, but these symptoms usually resolve themselves. With borderline personality disorder, however, the symptoms are more persistent but they also tend to improve as you get older.


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How common is borderline personality disorder?

Approximately 1-2% of the global population is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder

There are several symptoms of borderline personality disorder. It is important to note that the severity and prevalence of symptoms can vary greatly between individuals. In addition, there may be co-morbidity with other mental health conditions, such as ADHD, autism, depression, eating disorders and PTSD, which can affect the expression of the profile. A psychologist or psychiatrist should diagnose and treat the condition. Here are some of the main symptoms and characteristics of borderline personality disorder:

  1. Fear of abandonment: An intense fear of real or imagined abandonment. This can lead to desperate attempts to avoid being abandoned, even through self-harming behaviour.
  2. Unstable relationships: Relationships can be intense and stormy, with periods of idealization followed by devaluation. These swings are often due to black-and-white thinking, with the person with borderline either idealizing others as “perfect” or dismissing them as “terrible”.
  3. Unstable self-image: A deeply disturbed or changing perception of oneself. People with BPD may have problems with their identity and self-esteem.
  4. Impulsivity: This can include risky behaviours such as substance abuse, eating disorders, reckless driving, or excessive spending.
  5. Self-harm: Includes behaviours such as self-harm and suicidal thoughts or attempts.
  6. Emotional instability: Rapid and intense mood swings that can be difficult to control.
  7. Feelings of emptiness: A chronic sense of emptiness or meaninglessness.
  8. Intense anger: Difficulty managing anger can lead to temper tantrums or constant irritation.
  9. Stress-related paranoia or dissociation: During periods of extreme stress, people with BPD may experience paranoia or dissociation from reality.

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Assessment of personality disorders

Specialist psychiatrists often diagnose personality disorders through a personality assessment. This involves taking an initial medical history to review the background of the symptoms and completing assessment forms. A structured diagnostic interview and an interview with family members are then carried out to see how the symptoms manifest themselves in different areas. You will often see both a doctor and a psychologist, and the assessment may include a blood test to rule out an underlying medical cause.

Treatment for borderline personality disorder

Treatment for BPD usually involves a combination of psychotherapy, medication (to manage co-occurring conditions such as depression or anxiety) and self-help strategies. Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is a form of therapy specifically developed to treat BPD and is particularly effective. MBT, which is short for mentalization-based therapy, is also helpful for borderline.

An essential part of the treatment is mindfulness to manage emotions, but other strategies and tools are also used to increase self-understanding and improve the ability to manage emotions.

Advice for those who know someone with personality disorder

  • Set boundaries: It is essential to set clear boundaries to protect yourself and your psychological well-being.
  • Seek professional help: Diagnosing or treating someone is not your job. Let qualified healthcare providers handle this.
  • Do not judge: A personality disorder is a medical diagnosis, not a character flaw. It does not always excuse a person’s behaviour but can explain it. Try to have an empathetic attitude.
  • Be aware of your needs: Take care of yourself and seek support from friends, family or a professional therapist or psychologist.

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12 FAQs about Borderline Personality Disorder

What is a personality disorder?

A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of behaviour, worldview and inner experience markedly different from what is expected of those around you. This is because personality disorders can affect one’s ability to relate to others and function effectively in everyday life.

Is borderline a type of personality disorder?

Yes, borderline personality disorder is one of several types. It is a mental illness characterized by significant emotional instability, intense interpersonal relationships and a strong fear of abandonment.

How is borderline diagnosed?

A psychiatrist or psychologist usually carries out a diagnosis of narcissism and involves a detailed diagnostic interview and family interview.

What treatment options are available for borderline?

Treatment usually involves a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Recommended psychotherapy is Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) and Mentalization Based Therapy (MBT).

Does DBT help with trauma?

If you have experienced trauma and have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it is essential to get a thorough assessment and treatment for your PTSD symptoms. It is possible to get help with trauma as part of the treatment.

Is there any way to prevent personality disorders?

Environmental influences primarily cause personality disorders during childhood, so there are things you can do to prevent unhealthy personality development if you have children. Personality disorders mainly manifest themselves in adulthood, so consult a child psychologist if necessary or adult psychiatry if you think you may have a personality disorder as a parent.

What is the difference between DBT and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

DBT is a later development of CBT, but they are based on the same foundation of learning theory and thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. DBT also includes more mindfulness-based elements inspired by Zen Buddhism.

Are women more likely to attend DBT than men?

It is equally common for men and women to be diagnosed with EIPS, with about 1-2% of the population having it. However, it is much more common for women to seek care and receive DBT; about 75% of patients are women.

Is it called EIPS instead of borderline?

Emotionally unstable personality syndrome is also known as borderline, but EIPS is often used in healthcare as borderline can be a stigmatized term. EIPS is used in the ICD diagnostic manual, while borderline personality disorder is described in the DSM-5 diagnostic manual.

What can I do as a family member?

The most crucial step is to encourage the person to seek professional help. You can also offer emotional support but remember that you are not a substitute for qualified care.

Can you force someone to go to therapy?

No, you can’t force someone to undergo treatment. It is rarely a good idea to force someone into therapy. A person needs to understand that they need to work on themselves. However, in cases of severe self-harm and suicidality, compulsory treatment can be given, but a doctor decides this in inpatient care.

Where can I get help?

If you need treatment, you can seek care through your health centre and get a referral to psychiatry. We also have psychologists at Lavendla who can help you with an initial assessment and make further referrals. If you have acute suicidal thoughts, contact 0800 456 789 or go to the nearest emergency psychiatric clinic.


Written by Samantha Pieterse

Sr. Samantha Pieterse is a registered psychiatric nurse who is deeply committed to mental health and well-being. Samantha brings a unique and valuable perspective to her role as an editor for Lavendla South Africa. She has worked in Government and Private mental healthcare institutions in Gauteng and her expertise ensures that the articles on our website are accurate and accessible. Samantha is dedicated to enhancing mental health awareness and education in South Africa.