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How talk therapy works

In talk therapy, the client and the therapist come together to help bring the client’s life back into balance. In the therapy room, the client may review the feelings and thoughts or other factors hindering their life. Common topics that may be addressed may include loss, worry, anxiety, stress, grief, exhaustion, or trauma of any kind.

There are no stupid questions, and no topic is inappropriate to discuss in talk therapy. It is up to the client to decide what they need support with. On the other hand, the therapist’s role is to listen, understand, and ask questions to increase understanding. The client’s thoughts and feelings may originate from something other than what the client believes.

The goal of talk therapy is for the client to understand their well-being and get the tools they need to manage their problems independently in the future. Having an outsider to talk to about things that are sometimes difficult to handle in life has proven to have a tremendous positive effect on people, not only for the client but also for the people around them. Many clients testify that talk therapy also positively impacts their relationships with other people.

What set our therapist apart was her genuine empathy and personal insight. Not only did she possess a deep understanding of neurodiversity, but she also shared personal experiences that resonated with us, creating an instant connection and fostering a sense of trust!

Benedetta Osarenk


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14 FAQs about Talk Therapy

What is talk therapy and what are its main goals?

Talk therapy is a form of psychotherapy in which the client talks with a professional therapist to explore and understand their feelings, thoughts and behaviours. The aim of talk therapy is to promote self-awareness, change and increased well-being.

What types of problems or challenges can talk therapy help with?

Talk therapy can be beneficial for a variety of problems and challenges, including anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, confidence issues, trauma, grief, and stress management, among others. Remember, there are no stupid questions. Therapy aims to open up and talk about the toughest issues you have.

How long does a typical talk therapy process take?

The length of a talk therapy process varies depending on the client’s needs and goals. Some clients may experience improvements after a few sessions, while others prefer to work longer to explore their issues more deeply. A typical therapy session is 45 minutes, but we tend to recommend 90 minutes for couples therapy as they usually take longer when more people are involved.

What can I expect during a talk therapy session?

During a talk therapy session, you will have the opportunity to talk openly about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The therapist will listen actively, ask questions, and offer reflections to help you understand yourself better. The therapist will also create a safe and confidential environment for you to explore your feelings.

Can talk therapy help me if I don’t have any specific problems but feel generally depressed or stressed?

Absolutely, talk therapy can help boost your well-being and help you manage stress and feelings of depression, even if you don’t have specific problems.

Can I expect my therapist to give me advice and solutions to my problems?

In talk therapy, the therapist’s main role is to listen, support and help you explore your own thoughts and feelings. The therapist can offer perspectives and insights, but you will be involved in finding your own solutions.

Is it common to feel emotional or exhausted after a therapy session?

Yes, it is common to feel emotional or tired after a therapy session. Exploring sensitive topics can be quite intense. It is important to give yourself time to process these feelings afterwards. It is not unusual to need to rest after a session.

What if I feel dissatisfied with my therapist or feel that the therapy is not working for me?

If you feel that the therapy does not suit you or do not have a good relationship with your therapist, it is important to be open about it. You have the right to seek another therapist who better suits your needs. Lavendla will help you find another therapist who is better suited to you.

Can I bring my partner or family member to a talk therapy session?

Yes, if you want to involve your partner or a family member in the therapy, this may be possible, especially if your relationship affects your health and well-being. Please let us at Lavendla know in advance whether you are coming alone or in pairs, so we can ensure that our therapist has the experience and skills you need.

How long does it usually take to see changes or results from therapy?

The timeline for seeing changes varies depending on individual circumstances and goals. Some people experience rapid progress while others may take longer. The therapist will work with you to achieve your goals at your own pace.

How do I know if talk therapy is right for me?

Talk therapy can be beneficial if you feel you are having difficulty managing your emotions if you feel your life is limited by psychological or emotional difficulties, or if you simply want to understand yourself better. An initial consultation with a therapist can help you decide if talk therapy is right for you.

Do you always cry with a therapist?

No, you don’t always cry during a session. However, crying can be something you do for many different reasons. It does not necessarily mean that you are sad. Some people cry out of joy or because they have been touched by a strong emotion. Some people also cry out of anger or frustration. Sometimes a therapy session can also be about enhancing joy in the client’s life. Then there may be more laughter in the room. Therapy can take place in many different ways.

The first time you seek counselling?

It can be particularly sensitive the first time you seek help with something you have been thinking about for a long time. Here is some practical advice for your meeting with us:

  • Read about the different types of therapy we offer on our website. This will give you a better understanding of how we act and think about different topics.
  • On the Lavendla website, you can choose which psychologist, therapist, or coach you want to meet. To form an opinion, read their profile page, which includes their background, skills, education, and previous customer reviews. This also increases the likelihood that you will meet the right person at our office who can help you.
  • The first meeting is often more about building a relationship and trust than finding a solution. Remember that our job is to listen to you, so be open about how you feel and think. This will help us to help you.
  • Subsequent meetings focus instead on giving you the tools to deal with the problems independently. We support, guide and ensure that the tools we have given you work. If they don’t, we can, in consultation with you, try other approaches.

3 tips on talk therapy from our talk therapist

  1. Express your wants and needs. Something as simple as telling you what you want or your needs can also be difficult. Sometimes this can be the source of difficulties in dealing with life’s challenges. In other words, you are not in touch with your own will or needs. The fundamental thing for therapy to work is that you know what you want. If you’re struggling with this, it’s a good idea to see a talk therapist.
  2. Get to know yourself better for better-functioning relationships. When you get to know yourself better and understand how you function, you usually become much better at understanding how other people function. Relationships usually improve when you get better at being clear in your will and daring to express it to others. Most people who have been in therapy can testify to this.
  3. Be honest! A functioning therapy is based on the client being honest. Sometimes it is difficult to be honest. It can feel shameful to tell the therapist about your ‘crazy thoughts’ or ‘sick feelings’. It can also be difficult to be honest if you don’t have answers to some of the therapist’s questions. You don’t have to have an immediate answer to every question. Give yourself time to think and feel. If you feel shame, tell the therapist. Then, you are honest with yourself and the therapist, and the therapy can have the desired effect.

Written by Samantha Pieterse

Sr. Samantha Pieterse is a registered psychiatric nurse who is deeply committed to mental health and well-being. Samantha brings a unique and valuable perspective to her role as an editor for Lavendla South Africa. She has worked in Government and Private mental healthcare institutions in Gauteng and her expertise ensures that the articles on our website are accurate and accessible. Samantha is dedicated to enhancing mental health awareness and education in South Africa.