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Dr. Gary Chapman has identified five primary love languages: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service. Every individual has a primary love language that determines how they prefer to receive love.

What are the five love languages?

Author and counsellor Dr Gary Chapman developed the concept of the five love languages. It involves understanding how we give and receive love in different ways. According to Chapman, each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

Understanding and using this love language can increase trust and improve communication in all types of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships and family ties.

Read more, where we go through the five different love languages step by step and how you and your partner can test which love language is dominant for you. We also answer common questions related to love languages.

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Love languages – The five love languages

  1. Physical Touch – Individuals whose primary love language is physical touch tend to feel loved through acts of physical contact such as holding hands, hugs, and kisses.
  2. Quality Time – This person values spending quality time with loved ones and feels content when receiving their full attention.
  3. Words of Affirmation – Some people feel loved when they receive affirmation, such as compliments and loving expressions.
  4. Gifts – Individuals whose love language is receiving gifts feel loved when they receive thoughtful presents.
  5. Acts of Service – Some people express love primarily by performing acts of service and helping out.

4 FAQs about the Five Love Languages

How can you test your love language?

There are several ways to discover your primary love language. A straightforward way is to reflect on what actions or words make you most happy and loved. Love languages can be a tool for our couple therapists when working with couples to understand each other’s feelings.

Can love languages change over time?

Yes, love languages can change over time. Life experiences and relationship changes can affect which love language feels most relevant to you. Being aware of these changes and communicating them with your partner is essential.

How can you use love language to improve your relationship?

When you understand both your own and your partner’s love language, you can adapt how you express your love in a way that is meaningful to them. This can lead to greater intimacy and understanding in the relationship.

What are the different love languages, and how do they work?

The five love languages are
1. Physical touch: People with this love language experience love through physical contact such as hugs, kisses, and hand-holding.
2. Quality time: This type of person values spending quality time with their loved ones and is satisfied when they receive complete attention.
3. Affirming words For some, the love language is hearing encouraging and affirming words, such as compliments and loving expressions.
4. Gifts: People with this love language feel loved when they receive gifts that show someone is thinking about them.
5. Service: Performing acts of service and helping out is the primary love language for some people.

Conclusion 5 love languages

In this article, we explored Dr. Gary Chapman’s love language, which develops how we give and receive love differently. We have frequently asked questions about love language and provided personal advice from Kerstin, Lavendla’Kerstin ‘s couples therapist.

Love languages include five primary categories: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts and services. Each person has a primary love language that governs how they want love to be expressed to them.

Understanding your love language and that of your partner is important to strengthening the relationship. By adapting how you express your love in a mean-meaning partner, you can increase trust and improve communication.

Working with love language in your relationship can lead to greater intimacy and understanding. It starts with understanding and communicating love in a way that truly reaches your partner’s heart.


Written by Samantha Pieterse

Sr. Samantha Pieterse is a registered psychiatric nurse who is deeply committed to mental health and well-being. Samantha brings a unique and valuable perspective to her role as an editor for Lavendla South Africa. She has worked in Government and Private mental healthcare institutions in Gauteng and her expertise ensures that the articles on our website are accurate and accessible. Samantha is dedicated to enhancing mental health awareness and education in South Africa.